...is acting very strangely, which isn't unusual. He's rather quiet, doesn't call, and still doesn't tell me he loves me unless I tell him first. , but like I said before..not unusual behavior for him. Anyway, because of the hurricane, he's supposed to be staying with me for awhile while his house is being rebuilt, but he keeps like, hinting that he's not and when I tell say "just tell me if you don't want to", he says, "i never said i didn't want to, but it's up to my parents." I've been very suspicious and I just want to cry a lot. I also just want to stay in bed all day and be alone. I'm so jealous of every girl he talks to, even when they're just friends. I keep thinking that I'm the crazy one, but then I always come back to the things he's done to me and how many times he's hooked up with these girls that are just supposedly "friends". :invisable:

I'm constantly freaking out when he doesn't call, but I don't want to tell him to call me because it makes me upset when he doesn't, because I just, I'm trying to be really cool with everything so he likes me more. I just wish I didn't care. It would be so much easier to do. I just wish all the sudden something really bad would happen to me so he would break down and tell me how much he cares about me and how he never wants to lose me, but that would absolutely never happen, and if it did i could never believe it because he's told me that once and it didn't last very long. Most of the time, I feel like I'm the only one in love. And I probably am. This can't be what mutual love is supposed to be. It shouldn't feel like this.